Found Sheep Returned Home

I was the one who left and rarely returned. It has been five years, almost six, since the last time I had seen my family. There have been emails sent occasionally but nothing of depth. Nothing besides avoiding the drama and sidestepping the past.

They have not met the new me

“17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

The me who God has been spending years working on and changing. God has broken the generational hurt and trauma that my parents have passed down. The same hurt that they are still tightly holding on to because it is all they know. They have not loosened their grip enough to let God take it from them. In my twenty-nine years of life, it has taken five years to heal as much as I have. I cannot begin to imagine how long the healing process will take for them. Only God can take on this task and be successful.

Feelings and Faith

I have been told that I am brave to have left. I did not feel brave leaving. It also did not feel brave wanting to run home when the new life became difficult. New emotions and situations would leave me sobbing and screaming because the pain in my heart was unbearable. I just wanted to have been given a normal childhood. Brave? Hardly.

I feel more confident now, at the thought of returning after five years away. There is a God that goes before me and is beside me. I will not cower or change who I have become to fit their expectations. There is no old me anymore so no dipping of the toes into the sin of their lives to see if that could be me again will be happening. A new introduction will take place. Boundaries will be set, and lines will be drawn.

I will welcome them into my life with open arms and forgiveness in my heart. The darkness that I fought to keep as my safe place is gone. It cannot cover me as I return. I will walk boldly in my faith that no matter what lies before me, God will be there. I am praying that relationships will be strengthened but I know there will be challenges.

“7 The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.” Psalm 28:7

As always, God loves you, I love you, and I will be praying for you! Have a blessed week!