Two Masters

This week I have had something on my heart to speak about. God has been going more in-depth on the topic of having two masters. I used to scoff at the idea of serving two masters as if it was an easy decision, serve God. However, God has shown me that there are more ways to serve money than I had originally thought.

24 “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. Matthew 6:24

Before, I always thought I could never serve money. Money comes and goes and God is the only constant. For some reason, I never considered to follow the line of money. Where does it come from and how devoted am I to making sure it keeps coming from that source? I would devote all of my time and energy towards making sure that I was the best at my job. How to be the most efficient and have quality work stayed on my mind before, during, and after work ended for the day. I would wake up exhausted from tossing and turning at night, thinking about cases, and not allowing rest to come. My stress levels were through the roof.

Three areas of my life that changed when I allowed money to become my master:
1) My relationship with God.
2) My relationship with my spouse.
3) My health.

My Relationship With God

By allowing my job to take all of my time and energy, God had become an equal master. I still made time to read His word and try to learn all that I could but I was tired and unfocused. My stress levels increased. I became more thankful to the job rather than the one who gave me the job. My thirty minutes of sitting with God in the morning turned to fifteen minutes, then ten minutes. A task marked complete rather than healing my soul and praising the Lord. My mind was clouded by how tired I was and how much work was ahead of me for the day.

My Relationship With My Spouse

I would wake up hours before he does and go to bed soon after returning home from work. I was exhausted. Our conversations slowly dwindled until it was a text letting him know I made it to work and small talk before I fall asleep. I was no longer serving our family by helping with taking care of our home, taking care of our dog, or growing together in Christ with my spouse. He was put near the end of the list because I could not hold all things or provide enough energy to give the proper attention to everything. He still loved me anyways but he did not deserve the lack of attention.

My Health

I will be as transparent as possible. I have been at my job almost a year and in that time I:
1) Have gained at least 30 pounds
2) Have started back onto my anxiety medication
3) Stopped walking for the fun of walking

I was the last person on the list to take care of. I would order food because I was too tired to cook (my husband cooked most nights, but he is working and in college but I could not do my portion to help). I spent so much money on food and DoorDash. My anxiety hit an all time high and I felt the pressure to be perfect at my job because the probation period is an entire year. I had to make sure that I was good enough to be retained after that year. My legs hurt most of the time because it is a desk job and I did not make time to exercise or walk due to being exhausted.

The physical concept of money is not the beginning and end to it being a master. Earning that money can also become the master. Making sure the money does not end can overwhelm the acknowledgement that God is the one who provided the employment, not the employer. I had begged God to let me work in this location and field. He granted my prayer out of love. He deserves more of my attention and energy. It will be a learning process for me on how to not give all of my energy to work.

As always, God loves you, I love you, and I will be praying for you. Have a blessed week! I will keep you updated on how this process goes.